I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
