The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
