Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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