Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
