listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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