My nipple is on Facebook.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
