The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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