The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
