I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
