It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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