do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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