a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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