I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
