Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
