Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize