Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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