Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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