Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
