I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
