I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
