We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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