im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
