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Pants 0. Shit 1.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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