you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am naked and annoyed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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