its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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