You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
