Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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