just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
