So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
