Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
