Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
