I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
