So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
