But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i may or may not be watching the land before time
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
