but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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