There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
