I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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