Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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