Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
