16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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