U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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