k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
