If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am naked and annoyed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
