Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am one with the molecules
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
