38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
