Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
