So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
