That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
