At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
