He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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