It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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